You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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