If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
