i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
