So drunk its hurt
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize