I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
