It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
