think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
