But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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