I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This is classic penis vs brain.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm both gender and math confused
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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