i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
