half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
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