I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
