Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize