Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
