I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
