she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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