yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
