Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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