I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
where am i from again
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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