Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
