The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
