I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
