i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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