you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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