im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
