should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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