Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
