Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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