If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
