Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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