Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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