Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
