Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I supernannyed him into submission
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
