oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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