I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
