Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
