I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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