im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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