I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
