I must be too annoying 4 u.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
