Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
