I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
