Sponge bath it is.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize