i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I need moral support for this bender
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
