I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
