I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
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OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
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I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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