so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
