Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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