Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize