It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
