There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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