I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
