I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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