just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
