Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
