And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
