Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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