Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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