We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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