lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
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I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
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When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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